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the not responding to your voice as an infant......that's before vaccines is it?

Where can ypu get them blue headphones

372 months still confused emotion 😂

Thats what I have. Aspergers and pda. For me when I am calm, my pda really isnt too bad, but if i have had an upset during the day, its bad. For example I feel very hot and cross and the space of a very short period of time and then I sometimes shout or throw stuff.

At the beginning is so cute how simon was helping ezra

Ezra

Not a PDA related comment, but I just noticed (when going through some of my older safari bookmarks) that earlier videos mentioned the autism alliance (which I bookmarked the link for in my browser a while back after watching some of your older videos). After clicking on the link in my safari web browser and viewing certificate info in the browser (After seeing a warning about the site not being secure and possibly impersonating the site) I wonder if hackers or scammers might be getting ready to impersonate that site or organization some time in the near future. I don’t know if this is what’s happening or not but I figured that I should give you a heads up about this just in case.

I didn’t like school either growing up (between the boredom and the bullies). Most of my learning too place outside the classroom on my own time.

It looks like Simon’s ticklish just like Ezra. My sister and I are also ticklish. I guess that’s pretty common with autism.

Even though you showed this clip of Simon needed help putting the back pack on (specifically only putting on the right side but not the left without assistance) in the PDA video yesterday I am not convinced that this is a result of his PDA (even if his PDA diagnosis does happen to be correct). I had the exact same difficulty when I was younger and whether I have PDA or not my neurologist established that for me this specific difficulty was a result of right hemisphere damage from a small stroke at birth. Between that and being on the spectrum a lot of what I did that looked like stubbornness, defiance, spite, etc. actually was not. This doesn’t mean that I wasn’t stubborn. I probably was, just not always about the things that parents and teachers assumed. It’s still possible that Simon could have something like this either in addition to his PDA or perhaps instead of it. Incidentally the right hemisphere condition that I have in addition to being on the spectrum is called Right Hemisphere Syndrome (or Right Hemisphere Deficit Syndrome). In instances where a person has this and it remains undiagnosed for a period of time it can be misdiagnosed as Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), or even Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), as well as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and perhaps PDA. Simon’s diagnosis of PDA may be correct but even if it is he may have a neurological Right Hemisphere condition in addition to this and his level one autism. He is still younger than six (and younger than five) so if anything he has is properly diagnosed there is still enough time for him to begin to learn strategies for compensating as needed.

It’s good that Simon is wearing short sleeve shirts during breakfast. When I was his age (and even in the first two or three grades) I tended to wipe my mouth on my sleeves a lot. Simon might be the same way.

Ezra probably takes his diaper off at night if he can because it’s not absorbent enough to keep him comfortable. He probably feels uncomfortable after only one or two wettings. On the other hand if the diaper has enough capacity and it is the cold that bothers him and not just the wetness some extra sippy cups might help him to feel more comfortable and sleep through the night better. If this is the issue the extra liquid might allow him to choose to empty his bladder again whenever he notices that the diaper is getting too cold and allow him to go back to sleep. The downside of this is that his nighttime diaper might leak if its capacity is too low for this. Also Simon is still young enough (even at almost four-and-a-half) for nighttime training to technically still by optional. Therefore you don’t yet need to worry about limiting his fluid intake at night. Just like Ezra he can still have a much liquid as he wants. As long as Simon’s diapers come off by about breakfast time any nighttime wetting (for example)(accidental or otherwise) shouldn’t have much effect on his daytime training (if it effects it at all). He’s still young enough that being able to choose to take a break from potty training at night-time (provided that his diaper works well enough to prevent discomfort) might help him to relieve some of the stress that he experiences during the day. In the end that’s his decision to make. Obviously if he wants to get up during the night and try to use the toilet let him. But if he doesn’t want to that’s also up to him. If his wetting occurs during sleep you don’t need to worry. That’s still pretty normal at his age.

I wonder if Ezra is actually not a morning person but he is waking up early because his wet nighttime diapers are making him uncomfortable. The store bought diapers (even the nighttime ones) work on someone Ezra’s age but just barely. Therefore he would have to be feeling noticeably wet (and probably quite uncomfortable) by morning. To get an idea of how the diaper feels against Ezra’s skin you could feel the inside of the diaper with your hand (front and back of your hand) (preferably on a morning when it is only wet) . If your hand feels more than slightly damp Ezra would probably be very uncomfortable.

If Simon was still having a number of accidents around this time it might have been a result of all of that fruit functioning as a stool softener. Fruit would sometimes affect me that way until at least second or third grade (ages eight to nine). Also too many fruit juices might cause some possible bladder irritation and wetting accidents if one has too much at once. I seem to remember that Simon pretty much finished toilet training during the day within maybe a month or so after this but it’s still something to keep in mind in the event that daytime accidents start up again.

Maybe Ezra’s school can teach him about brushing his teeth just like Simon’s preschool teaches him about it.

I also liked Dr. Seuss when I was younger. By about second or third grade (age eight to nine) I started to move on to more advanced books (mostly non-fiction). Since Simon is level one he might be able to do this a little sooner than I did as long as his PDA doesn’t get in the way. If you give him books that he’s interested in and don’t pressure him too much it probably won’t be much of an issue.

Just like Simon’s hair my hair doesn’t always want to lie down either.

Like Ezra I also like butter. On the other hand I don’t like margarine.

I have never been a fan of pool water in my face either. The chlorine in the water always causes my eyes to sting. Maybe that’s what’s happening with Simon here.

Water slides have always made me nervous.

Maybe either this year or next year Simon can begin to learn how to put on his own sunscreen. This might be a way to turn the increased desire for autonomy associated with his PDA into more of a positive.

It’s good that Simon knows the word “baby” and what it means. I think I was at least five years old (if not six) before I truly understood that word. I think I first heard that word as a reference to someone other than myself around Christmas time while my parents were showing me a manger scene for the first time that I can remember at this time.

An alternative to plastic pants in a situation like this is disposable swim diapers (such as Huggies Little Swimmers or Pampers Splashers for Simon (if they still fit)). Disposable swim diapers in Ezra’s size are harder to find but they do exist). It is good that you have these plastic pants though because they could function as an alternative to diapers if worn over underwear in traffic jams or other situations where a toilet might not be available in time. With something like that accidents (of either kind) (if they occur) shouldn’t set their training back all that much because they will feel it when it happens (unlike with a disposable). Also they will be motivated to hold it if they are able to.

It’s a good thing that the “Good job Simon” was said with a soft voice. Between his level one autism and his PDA it might be too overwhelming for him otherwise.

Ezra seems to be as ticklish as I was at that age.

Its good that Simon and Ezra are learning to ride a bike I’m currently learning how to drive a car I had 4 lessons so far

Regarding Level 1 Autism and PDA as it relates to the ability to lie/play tricks. While PDA is not associated with anywhere near the level of manipulative behavior that you would see with other conditions that you probably hear about in the media that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t see any manipulative behavior. For example, about two years ago the level one grandson of a friend of mine (who is older than Simon but younger than Ezra) who may or may not also have PDA had a fight with his younger level 2 brother over a toy fire truck. I came over to talk to the grandmother and while I was sitting on her porch he kept looking at me, then the toy fire truck, and then back at me. I had the sense that he wanted to play with it and I reached my arm out and almost picked it up. Fortunately it occurred to me to ask the grandmother when I noticed that the two grandsons were sitting on opposite ends of the porch (which is fairly unusual for them) what was happening. At that point she explained the situation and I obviously did not pick up the toy fire truck. Like Simon he was a late talker and had a quite a bit of speech therapy and social skills training and I think he still gets some of that off and on as needed. One effect of that, though, is that he learned how to make eye contact so well that he almost tricked me without saying a single word. Given that I am level one I might have potentially fallen for his trick if I had less sleep, didn’t have my morning coffee that day, or wasn’t paying enough attention. I am mentioning all of this because in the next year or two Simon’s social skills might reach this level and he might potentially be able to play a similar trick on someone his age or older if he has a fight with Ezra over a toy car or something else that they both want to play with at the same time and it gets taken away from him. Since that time the grandmother and the parents seemed to have nipped this behavior in the bud and I have seen no additional deceptive behavior from the one who is level one and may have PDA. The other one who is level two (like I was growing up) is not yet officially in the numbered grades but is older than Simon and from the looks of it has no concept of lying or deception just yet. Like me the concept will probably need to be explained to him by age seven or so to prevent him from falling for any tricks from his older sibling and any of his peers.

Could I get a hi Jeremiah I am such a huge big fan of yours 😊i hope I get a chance to meet you all one day!❤❤❤

Have you ever heard of This TV Show Called Supernanny? Oh and have you ever watched The Show Before?

I know what it's like 😢

Thank you!! Your children are being and feeling seen and heard. Thank you for seeing, hearing and supporting your children!!!!

You already did a video about Potty Training as it relates to autism. Maybe you can also do a video about potty training as it relates to PDA. This morning I just asked Microsoft Copilot (with GPT-4 turned off) the question: At what age do children with PDA finish toilet training? The closest it came to answering this was in its final two lines of output before an ad for Pull-Ups and listing 7 sources. It said: “Remember, each child is unique, and the timeline for toilet training varies. Some children with PDA may take longer, but patience and understanding go a long way.” Above that it listed behaviors seen in children with PDA when they are nervous about toileting such as hiding, crying (as Simon can be seen doing during the regression section of the potty training video about autism), and verbal withdrawal. This makes me wonder if Simon (who has PDA) ever hid before “going” (like Ezra sometimes either does or did) at any point during the toilet training process. If Simon ever hid did he have a favorite hiding place (for taking care of potty breaks, as it were) like Ezra before he started using the toilet consistently? I also wonder how long ago you learned that Simon has PDA. For example did you know that Simon has PDA either before or during his daytime potty training? I don’t remember hearing about that. After listing hiding, crying, or verbal withdrawal Microsoft Copilot listed the following eight tips for navigating the toilet training process with a child who has PDA. I won’t list the complete text here, just the parts in bold (the eight numbered suggestions) as follows: 1.Stay Calm 2. Break it Down 3. Choose Battles Wisely 4. Empower with options 5. Be creative 6. Patience and Positivity 7. Never Force 8. Comfort Matters This was followed in the Microsoft Copilot output by an ad for (in this instance) size 2T-3T pull-ups. Now that I have listed the main points enumerated by Microsoft Copilot I will expand on them with my own observations as follows: I don’t know if I have PDA (since back in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s they were not testing for it yet). Even though I was still level two back then (I’m currently level one) I probably would have been diagnosed with this as well if they had that diagnosis back then. Regarding Staying Calm: A good example of this is from the time that Simon had a doctor’s visit about a week after he started preschool to have the braces on his feet looked at. When you asked him “Oh, did you go poo-poo?” and later said to him something like “That’s not a jungle gym.” these would be examples of pointing out and gently correcting behaviors with a combination of understanding and humor. Break it down: This involves having a set of manageable steps for the child to follow when it comes to toileting. Your autism potty training video already goes into some detail about this but if you eventually do a future video about potty training as it specifically relates to PDA you might decide to expand on this. Choose Battles Wisely: My mother did this with me sometimes. Sometimes when I was potty training if I was very anxious/stressed out and resisting a lot more than I usually did she would take me off of the potty chair or toilet and leave my diaper off and put me in regular underwear and regular clothes that would be dark colored and fairly easy to clean. Then she would get me some snacks for later and take me on a walk around the neighborhood. If I showed signs of having to “go” during the walk such as doing a potty dance or perhaps bending my knees or squatting she would have me sit on her lap and try to go there in order to work on the mechanics of it. If we were bowel training she would also have me push my feet against a large rock, a tree stump, or even her hands. If I managed to “go” she would give me some juice and/or a snack as a reward. After I got home any clothes that I managed to “use” (with her permission and/or gentle encouragement) would go into the wash and her clothes would also be washed. She actually gave me some verbal praise in this situation a good percentage of the time but she kept it mild and lowered her volume (almost like how Fluttershy usually talks on My Little Pony) to keep from overwhelming me too much. If I managed to “go” in a more preferred location (such as a toilet) I would be given one of my favorite rewards such as a small amount of ice cream or a small lollipop. In the neighborhood walk scenario I would be given a different snack that would be my second, third, or fourth favorite snack instead. On shopping trips the approach would be similar but I would be sitting in a shopping cart with regular clothes and no diaper but some folded bath towels, a beach towel, or even an old sweatshirt instead with something like an old crib liner under that. This approach also ties in with Empowering with options and being creative. Regarding Patience and Positivity: The Microsoft Copilot suggestion on this about being understanding and celebrating small victories would apply here. For example if Marie had managed to get Simon to do anything (#1 or #2) on the toilet after the car seat wetting during the Dollar Tree shopping trip any such victory would be celebrated. Likewise when Simon said “Oh no, Potty!” either before or (more likely) during the car seat wetting he would in all likelihood be gently praised or gently rewarded for telling his mother about what was happening. Any such reward would be noticeably smaller than the reward for making it to the toilet so that he would understand that given the choice the toilet should be the primary place to “go potty” not the car seat. That being said on the subject of choosing one’s battles, empowering with options, and being creative it would probably be fine to allow for some very rare car seat usage(for either #1 or #2 (either with or without a diaper or other “backup” (in elimination communication (EC)) terms)) instead of making him wait in certain exceptional situations such as traffic jams or other rare circumstances where a toilet may not be readily available. Regarding “Never Forcing” it looks like you made the right call having Simon sit on your lap and finish his smoothie (or whatever it was) after his first day of preschool even if you happened to notice him pushing/bearing down (a concept that Andrea Olson describes in some of her EC (Elimination Communication) blogs and videos). Taking him to the toilet at that point to finish up would have likely been too stressful for him and due to his PDA it likely would not have helped him to train any faster than he did during the day. In fact, when you asked him afterward(very gently in my opinion) “Did you?” and he answered the question he seemed to be scared even though (as far as I know) he has never been punished in any way for anything like that. I’m guessing that this is a combination of his level one autism and his PDA at work (what percentage of each went into that in this instance I am not sure of (Maybe you have some ideas on that)). Regarding “Comfort Matters” a toilet seat that is sufficiently soft and warm can help during the training process. My parents did not have that when I was younger but my mother did help me to be comfortable while learning to use the big toilet by having me sit on her lap (first with diaper , and then after getting used to that for a bit, later without one) while using the big toilet initially. Before that I used a potty chair. For me this potty chair to big toilet transition was some time after my fourth birthday (I think I might have been as old as four years and three months by then.). Simon took less time than this to learn how to use the big toilet (He was up to six months younger than I was when he learned how to do that.) so maybe it’s an example of the difference between level one (like Simon) and level two (like me at that age) whether I happen to have PDA or not.

Curious. Are your boys vaccinated? Every individual constitution is unique and reacts differently to toxins.

Omg

This is very interesting, I’m very late diagnosed level 1 Autism, and all these signs resonate with me, I have to fight very hard when any sort of ‘demand’ is placed on me, even if I the one who places that demand, it can be a huge struggle to do the thing and not keep avoiding beginning to do that task. I have a paper pad that I write on the things I need to do in the house, then and only when I feel able I do something on the list, eventually all the jobs will get done, but not until I can cope with doing them, often some of the job stay on the list a very long time, but having the list takes the pressure of, because I’ve acknowledged they are jobs that I have to do, and because they are on the list they will get done, but only when I’m ready, hope that makes sense. Many times over the years I have said I wanted to do something, then when the thing changes from I want to do it to I have to do it I feel huge panicky so much that I ‘cannot do it’ I want to run I want to escape hide anything but do that one thing, it’s hard to cope with because it makes no sense, I want to do it but when the ‘demand’ comes that I now have to do it I can’t. It’s a hard thing to cope with, this video has really helped. Helped me understand what going on, it makes so much sense now. Thank you

In my experience I've always hated being praised for things I was told to do. It feels wrong, upsetting and frustrating. When someone demands I do something I feel trapped, and I freeze. Even if it's something I love to do! So I might want to play guitar, then my parents say "You should play guitar, you haven't in a while" and that will make me feel upset and I won't be able to do it because I feel like I'm not in control of the situation. I also have issues being consistent with things, because as soon as something becomes an expectation, I get incredibly overwhelmed and hate doing it. I've had many hobbies I dropped because people started expecting me to engage in those hobbies. Usually what helps me is choices. So for example if rather than being told "Shower" I'm told "You can shower before or after dinner, what would you prefer?" I'll be able to choose and it will work. Unless then I am told "You have to shower now" when the moment comes, since that defeats the whole purpose. My therapist didn't diagnose PDA, but she said it in much less flattering terms saying I want everything under control and only do what I choose to do. Also I was wrong guessing it was Ezra! I would have actually never thought it was Simon. I even thought it was Benson before thinking Simon!

Fish 🐠

Hi, I watch most of your videos and they help a lot. We just found out my autistic 2 year old has PDA and These videos really help. Thank you

I love Simon’s backpack. Where did you guys gets it? I know my little guy would love it too. 😊

My daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's (Level 1 Autism). As a child, she wasn't completely verbal until after she was 2 years old (we thought she was hearing impaired and couldn't speak because she couldn't hear. That was not the case.) She was very picky about who she would talk to or spend time with: she only wished to be around people who would stimulate her (meaning, she mainly was surrounded by adults instead of children). She is kind-hearted, witty, and gifted. Although she is highly functional, she has her "childlike" moments: she plays with her stuffed animals, speaks for them (in voices she has created for each), remembers and repeats short reels, movie lines, jokes, other people's comments, etc. It's what they say: If you've met one Autistic person, you have met ONE autistic person. They are all different but equally beautiful.

There are two kids in my area who have autism and one of them may have PDA as well but they’re not sure yet. The one who may have PDA is level one like Simon and has dyslexia. If Simon struggles with reading and penmanship in first grade some time in the next couple of years (like he does) you will want to have him checked for dyslexia. In any case back when the kid in my neighborhood who may have PDA was four-and-a-half years old one day his grandmother told him to go potty and take a bath and he refused and called her a “poo-poo-head-dum-dum” during a temper tantrum on her front porch that I happened to see on the way back from lunch one day. This was a number of years back. He seems to have outgrown these tantrums but from what I have been told his teachers indicate that he is sometimes not cooperative especially in reading and English classes. In theory you might see this with Simon in the next three to four years as he goes into first or second grade but if you luck out he might not go through that. Only time will tell. I don’t know if Simon ever does this but between now and when he turns four-and-a-half about a year after he started preschool it is possible so you might need to prepare for what you will do in that event. In that case you might need to figure out whether time outs are the best option or whether there’s something else that will work either instead of or in addition to time outs.

Huh interesting 🤔 I learn more new terms on the daily and yet somehow I feel many of the things described sounds like what was just a normal part of growing up in a 90s type childhood 🙃 😅 for me lol they have all new names and labels why can't we still help kids while letting them be kids is my opinion on it these kids are gonna grow up with these terms thinking theres something wrong with their way of being human when theres actually not and to me thats the part I don't understand it just seems to me to be more detrimental and not actually helpful at all 😅

7 Ahead - Do you believe I may have & Be Diagnosed With PDA , Autism Or Both ?

As someone who has a daughter with Autism,and also took a class on it...the correct term is someone with Autism not Autistic. Please do better with that!!!

Well… I have ODD (and ADHD, ASD etc) but with this maybe, I have no idea. But I do HATE to fail with something and will refuse if I see any chance of failing. But my feelings then I am forced and I fail or gets cheers for something I dont like. With medicine in me I send a very angry look… if not I can very much start fighting.

I don’t like the name pda either. It’s more of just an extreme need for autonomy. It cannot be changed or worked through. It’s an instant anxiety driven reaction of fight flight or freeze when anyone (even yourself) places a spoken or unspoken demand on you. Edited to add: PDA is very often misdiagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder.

With Simon having PDA is there anything special that you needed to do to get him daytime potty trained and keep him daytime trained at a roughly normal level for his age then and now?

hi😁

I love the format of videos